The other day I was home for lunch. I had finished eating and while my wife was cleaning the dishes in the kitchen, I was checking on some important things on the computer…probably managing our banking account or checking some stock investments…or checking the latest rumors on who MSU’s new coach will be (c’mon, Steve! sign it. sign it!). My daughter had walked outside and could hear her calling for us. My wife was in the kitchen, but the door was open to the side porch where my daughter was, and I figured she’d be able to handle whatever situation my daughter was calling us for.
Then my wife started calling for me. Not a “hurry up” tone, so I didn’t rush, but saw through the window as I made my way out there that my daughter was looking off of the porch into the flower bed down below. I got out there and realized there was a problem. She had stuck her head through the railing…and couldn’t get it back through.
My daughter was starting to consider panicing. Not there yet, but on the verge. My wife was going to wait til the little one paniced first. You know, proper order of things, but she was just one step behind.
So I jumped down into the flowerbed and my daughter’s head was level with my belly. So I tried to push her head back through. Not going to happen easily. So I twist it slightly to the side and try again. No progress there either. She starts to get a little more closer to panic when she feels the iron bars squeezing her head when I attempted to fit her back through. So then the options start going through my head. I ask her, “Did you have to push hard to get your head through?” She nods. “Did it hurt?” She nods.
So I think, She’s pretty tough. She can endure the return trip back through can’t she? I test the waters (bars) again and realize that it’s gonna hurt, and I’m baffled at how she fit through there in the first place. I can hear the edge in her voice, “Get me out. Get me out, Daddy! Daddy, get me out! Daaadeeee!” Not panicy, but a few seconds away. Do we have a hack saw handy? How quickly could we get through a bar? Would it bend away or would I need to cut it in two places? My lunch hour is almost over. This sure is happening at an inopportune time. I wonder if I slop her head with dishwashing liquid if it will just slide back on through?
All those thoughts and others were going through my head. Then I remember reading that for most people, if you can get your head all the way through something, then you can fit the rest of your body. DING! DING! DING! DING! So I say, “Hey, here we go,” and twist her slightly, turn her shoulders straight up and down, and she slides right through.
There. I’m the hero in her eyes now. Being a dad isn’t so hard…is it?