My wife calls the office today to tell me that there was a bird in our kitchen.

Me: How’d it get in there?
Her: I don’t know, it just flew in. What do I do?
Me: Close the doors to the dining room, and then open the doors to the porch and the car port. Where is it now?
Her: It’s behind the microwave….hiding.
Me: Well, close the doors, open the others. Then go get the broom and start chasing it around, swinging the broom wildly until it finally finds it’s way out.
Her: Whatever! It keeps pecking on the window behind the microwave. How do I show it the way out?
Me: With the broom. Or do you know where that really strong roach spray we used to have is?
Her: I’m not going to kill the thing. WAIT! Woo-hoo! It just flew out. Okay, Bye! *click*

Not your average call from home.