Like I was saying....

Life as I know it

To be honest, I have nothing to write.

I want to write, but I just stare at the screen. So I guess I’ll write about my life. No one really reads this. Only two people right now other than me. So I’ll take a dive and then maybe clean it up later.

But I belive I’ve been called to a life of purpose. I guess I believe we all have, but I’m confident that I have been. But the word purpose has become so cliche lately. I read most of Purpose Driven Church, then Purpose Driven Youth Ministry. Both were good books that had lots of meat in them. But then Purpose Driven Life came out, and while still a great book, it made “purpose driven” a phrase that is now cliche.

But I think I have a problem in that I’m not that driven. Again, I believe fully that God has a plan and purpose for me. I also believe that He wants to use me to accomplish things. His things. Things for His Kingdom. Now this is not because I’m Mr. Big Stuf or anything, but just that He wants to work through me for HIS purposes: purposes that are scattered among family, relationships, ministry/work, intercessory prayer, being a witness, etc.

But lots of times I think I get in the way of Him. Not that little me can thwart Big God. But that I don’t live up to my calling. I let my laziness, my apathy, my low self esteem, my poor time management screw things up. I seem to aim at getting by too much.

Getting by is not what I’ve been called to. The dude that burried his “talent” in the dirt until the Master got back was just hoping to “get by”. And the Master called him wicked! That’s harsh. And the Master took away that money and gave it to the guy who was sticking his neck out and trying to increase the gifts given by the Master.

Why am I scared? Why won’t I admit I’m scared unless it’s late at night? What have I to fear if the Lord is with me? Nothing. If He’s called me to do something, then won’t He be with me in the thick of things? Even if I mess up or falter, will He not uphold me with His right hand? Of course He will! Sheesh!

So if you get to read this before I get scared of being transparent and delete this…pray for me. Pray that I have some personal revival. I need to spend a lot of time, one on one, with the Master. I need to let Him share His wisdom with me. But I need to make sure I make the time to do that. I want to crawl up into His lap and just let Him hold me. That’s so much more important that the things I busy my life with.


  1. jeremy

    Something that has helped me recently — i’m still in the same boat, but i’m making my way to the front so i can jump off this “sitting-on-our-hands-for-lots-of-reasons boat” and into the waters that God has called me to–

    * Put aside all spiritual books that are for “self-help.”
    * Put aside the your Youth Ministry study except when necessary.
    * Put aside the extra-curricular reading until the next thing on this list is done.
    * Grab a handy, trusty 5 Star- 3 subject notebook, your favorite pen, and your favorite Bible… NOTHING else. Get a plan in order, and read the Word according to that plan as often as possible. Keep notes about what YOU are seeing in the Word as you read through it.
    * Get some pocket size notecards or make your own on cardstock. We’ve all heard this, i finally started doing it, and it really started changing my attitude. Start memorizing verses. Keep the verse on a card, in your pocket that you use most often. Every time you reach in your pocket you’ll be reminded of the verse. Joshua 1:8 is a pretty good verse to start with.
    * Use another section in your notebook to develop your ministry vision. Work on this regularly as well.
    * This study and vision planning only has to be 30min or so aday! That leaves plenty of time for sitting on our hands… But the difference will be that GROWTH is taking place in our spirits because of this short time we were focused.

    My reading plan: Start at the end of the Bible, skip revelation, and read in reverse order. (i’ll get to revelation when i’m ready! and i’m tired of reading Genesis)

    The execution of that plan: Was working very well for a while. Then i got some answers about direction in my life. Since then, i’ve gotten lazy again because I was feeling really content about life. So, like i said, i’m still in the same boat. With this plan, though, i really saw progress and saw it quickly. God is faithful when we focus our energy on Him.

    The verses i’ve memorized have been a great encouragement to me thus far.

    sorry to ramble. I don’t have the answers but I’ve gone from stressed to the max to relaxed, joyful, and moving forward through this.

  2. Blake

    Many thanks on this, my friend.

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