Last night my wife went to a Women’s Conference. She said it was good. But since she was going to be out for most of the evening, it was just me and the kid. So we decided to run some errands and buy a gift for a birthday party she is going to later today.
She was really excited about going because we were going to be able to eat pizza! She loves that stuff. So we went to CiCi’s Pizza for the best pizza buffet in the world (not necessarily the best pizza in the world, but best buffet..there’s a difference). After a quick meal we went to LifeWay to get the new Passion cd. Of course we had to listen to all the other cd’s in there too.
So we’re at a listening station with two sets of head phones. I’ve got the new Relient K disc called up. She’s holding the big fat head phones on while dancing a lively little jig. Every now and then she’ll say to me “Daddy’s got some on too!” referring to my wearing of the head phones too. I’ll just nod to her, smile, and go to the next tract. “I like this music, Daddy!” she’ll yell to me too (remember she has the head phones on). Then it hits her. And she decides to tell me in what she thinks is a normal voice (for a two year old), but remember she’s wearing head phones with Relient K coming out of them.
“I NEED TO POOH-POOH, DADDY!!!” I knew not to say, “What?” I just quickly put both pairs of headphones up, pick her up, and try not to make eye contact with too many people as I make my way back to the bathroom. I’m whispering, “hold it, hold it” because 95% of the time she holds it til we get to the potty. But now and then there’s a little squirt that will get out. And being out of town, with wet clothes, with still things to do before returning home isn’t something I was wanting to happen.
But, of course, there’s someone in the bathroom already. “Who is it, Daddy? Who’s in there?”
“I don’t know, sweetie.”
“Are they coming out?”
“Yes, in just a minute, then we’ll go in and you can use the potty.”
“But who is it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Can I see them?”
“I’m sure you’ll get a look at them when they leave.”
“Are they about to leave?”
That went on for about five minutes while we waited on some guy to leave the bathroom all stinky. Well, we get in there, I lock the door, and we go into the stall. She knows the drill already. “Don’t touch the potty, right?” She’s a smart girl. So I cover the seat with paper, put her up there, and try to keep her stable where she doesn’t have to touch anything. After she’s finally through, she gets down and after trying to hold her up in the air so she can flush the toilet with her foot, I finally have to flush it with my foot.
I realize that I still have two more stores to go to, and a 30 minute drive home, so I decide I’ll go really quickly myself. I get her to stand behind me, and then, with all the excitement that a two year old can have, she starts yelling, “Daddy needs to pee-pee too? Good daddy!” trying to be encouraging to me as I was for her. I’m sure people could hear her if they were in the hall.
Oh the joys of fatherhood…
Edit… Be sure to go back and read this earlier entry about a previous Men’s Room experience. She’s gotten much better.