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Yesterday I Went To A Funeral…

05/05/2010 / Blake

The brother of a friend of mine died this past weekend in a car accident.

Yesterday my friend Lee and I drove down to attend the funeral and pay our respects.

The church was way out in “the country”. But there were a ton of folks there. Lee and I were some of the last to arrive so we actually sat on the front pew in one of the side sections. And from where we sat we had a direct view of the family pew.

I saw a mother who lost a dear son. Two sisters who lost their big brother. A brother in law who lost a best friend. And I saw a beautiful, young widow who lost her soul mate and father to her two young children. It was pretty gut wrenching to try and put myself in their place.

The funeral was a heavy one. But one where the stories were light and humorous, and many examples were given of the love for his kids and family and others. Of how he made everyone laugh and brought joy wherever he was. And how he’d be dearly missed.

I’ve never had anyone in my immediate family die. And I don’t know how I’d deal with it or process it. I kept thinking of what it would be like to be the one sitting in the pew having lost my wife or a child or a parent. But then my mind shifted.

What if it was my family sitting there and I was the one gone? My first thought was I wouldn’t want a funeral. I don’t know if that is a knee jerk reaction or not. But it also made me think of my family. If I was suddenly gone, would my children know beyond all else that their dad loved them? Would they know that I loved their mom dearly? Would they remember times I’ve spent with them and played with them and read to them? Would they say that Jesus shaped who I was or that I just tried to fit Him in when I could?

And my wife…. What all would she be going through?

And it really made me start thinking through a few things. I’ve not any real conclusions I’m ready to release. But how can I make certain my kids know my depth of love for them and their mom? How can I make sure they know how much Jesus loves them? And make sure my wife experiences true oneness in our marriage when it comes to all aspects: emotional, physical, spiritual, relational?

I must say, it’s made me think…

The Nashville Flood

05/04/2010 / Blake

Here in Oxford we got a lot of ran over the weekend. I was actually thinking it was a lot. That was until I saw someone send a tweet that Nashville had gotten over TWELVE inches in less than 36 hours. Then I started to see the various photos coming out. If you’ve not paid much attention to it, you should check out the great website Nashvillest.

It is a blog for/about Nashville. It has many photos that will surprise you as well as tons and tons of articles about how to help, what you can do, and different insights on the flood. But before and beyond the Nashville Flood, the Nashvillest is a really intriguing site in it’s own right.

Below are some photos from the past few days:

Potty Training With A Boy

05/03/2010 / Blake

We’ve always heard that boys are harder to potty train than girls. So we were thinking we might be in for a bad run of things once Rowan started getting ready for the transition. But to be honest, the girls were usually pretty easy. While I can’t remember exactly when we started attempting to encourage them to use the “big girl potty” so they can wear “big girl panties“.

Just before Rowan turned two he started noticing during bath times when he was about to pee. So since the toilet was right next to the tub we’d just pull him out and plop him down. But when he started getting a “prize” to use the potty “like a big boy” he wanted to get more and more prizes. It’s amazing the power M&M’s can have, right?

We see a lot of this at our house now

So now Rowan pretty much wears “big boy underwear” whenever he’s awake. The ones with Cookie Monster or Elmo might be the favorites. We’ll slap a diaper on him for naps and night time. But it’s pretty common for him to wake up with a dry diaper ready to go straight to the potty. Sure, we’ve had a few accidents. Some stinkier than others. And I’ve missed a lot of minutes of the girls’ soccer games because he had to go to the rest room about three times in an hour. But I think in the long run it will be all the better.

So with three children having been or going through potty training, the two main keys have been encouragement/excitement when the deed is done on the potty, and a few small pieces of candy now and then for reward. We’ve pretty much transitioned out of a prize each time. Soon we’ll be done with them totally. Or maybe give grapes or raisins for a prize. Then I get to eat all the M&M’s myself!

What have been some of the potty training methods you’ve found worked best for your family?

Addie running the Kids’ One Mile Race

05/02/2010 / Blake

Last weekend was the Double Decker festival here in Oxford. After dodging some crazy weather on Saturday most of the festival happened on Sunday. And the races got moved to Sunday as well. My wife and I each ran the 10K. You may remember the video I made last year of my race. Well I shot some more footage last weekend, but ran out of memory on the camera. So we’ll see what I can do with the editing.

But Addie and Ella both ran the kids run. It was a one mile race. I was pretty beat from the 10k just before, so I didn’t run it with them. Bev ran with Ella, but Addie took off on her own. I was waiting on her when she was headed back to the finish line. I whipped out my phone and shot a video as she finished.

Since I wasn’t paying too much attention at first, Addie says she was the first girl and second person overall to finish. She’s probably right, but whether she’s right or not she surely believes it! Watch her zoom by that girl in the green shorts!

Top 7 Things That Are Different When Your Kids Are Gone

05/01/2010 / Blake

Our kids are gone right now. Spending time elsewhere. God bless the grandparents. Of couse we love our kids and all. But sometimes having them share their energy and questions and loudness with other people can be good too. Because we try to teach them that sharing is a good thing, right? But as I woke up this morning to a kidless house it made me think a little about how things are different.

I can eat whenever I want. This morning I ate a handful of cashews around 8:30, and then I finished off my leftover lasagna about 11 a.m. And I didn’t have to wonder if someone else would ask to eat my food, have some of mine, or think since I’m eating they should have their meal fixed right then too. As soon as my kids see me eating ANYTHING they want some. If I was eating one peanut M&M, they’d want me to split it four ways so they could have just as much as I was getting.
I can lay in bed as long as I want on Saturday morning. On a usual Saturday morning I will read something in bed or on the computer after I finally wake up. But “finally” might not be the best word because my five year old likes to come ask about breakfast. She knows not to wake me up specifically to ask for that, but she’ll “accidentally” be loud or come and crawl in bed beside me or want to play a game on my phone or any number of things to try and get me up out of the bed. I trust her to pour her own cereal now, but there’s still the “mess factor” I know I’ll have to manage later. But without them at home, I can wait until my bladder or stomach demand relief.
I can eat whatever I want. I like to try to direct my kids in a healthy lifestyle. And a lot of that has to do with what/how we eat. So I try not to eat too much junk in front of them. For one because they don’t need to eat it. And secondly, because if they do eat it then half of my ice cream or cookie dough would be gone in one fell swoop. But now I can break out the candy bar for a snack or even ice cream with chocolate syrup for lunch and no one cares!
Adult conversations are easier. Now when I say “adult” conversations I’m not meaning anything lewd or nefarious. But just a normal, calm, uninterrupted conversation about life in general. Last night the wife and I went to Ole Venice for supper (that’s where I got the lasagna). The two of us sat down, talked, munched on bread, read the local free newspapers, and shared a meal. And we never once had to clean up a spill, tell someone to sit down, break up a fight, go “Shhhhhhhh!” because someone was too loud, or have three people asking for bites of my lasagna. Heck, I bet if we’d gone out as a family I couldn’t have had left over lasagna for breakfast today!
We can each go places quickly. If my wife and I each need to run a quick errand in different directions, we can do it. At the drop of a hat. Just grab the keys and hop in the truck. There’s no “let’s use the potty before we go”, there’s no search for the missing shoe, there’s no tangled hair that needs a backhoe to get a brush through, there’s no finding the dog, blanket, baby, book, or whatever else they want to take with them. None of that. It’s just “where are the keys” and in a split second I’m out the door.
I can be as loud as I want to be. We watched a movie last night [quite interesting I must say]. But we turned the tv up and it got loud at a few points, but we didn’t have to worry about waking anyone up. This afternoon when my two year old son would normally be taking an nap, we were rearranging some things in the garage and coming in and out of the house right by his bedroom. But didn’t have to worry about keeping or waking him up.
Things just seem “off”. While all of those things above can be great things, things still seem a little “off” when they’re all gone. I find myself listening for them, wondering why they’re so quiet. Or I’ll think of something funny that would make them laugh, but then they’re not here to share it with. Or maybe I’m making a big bowl of ice cream with chocolate syrup, and I put a little extra in the bowl because I was smart and planned ahead to share it with them….but then they’re not really here. So while a break is good, it’s always good to get them back, as well! Normal is good.

Up for THE CHALLENGE?

03/17/2010 / Blake

To cut to the chase is that I’m wanting to make some changes in how/what I eat and how I exercise. I’ve been slacking in both of those areas. But I decided to invite a few friends to to make some changes as well. And in doing so the idea of a “Challenge“. I don’t know what to call it exactly. I hesitate to call it a weight loss challenge because it is so much more than just dropping a few pounds. But it’s about being healthier (which dropping fat (but adding muscle)) is a big part.

So there are currently eight of us who are going to undertake “The Challenge“. We’ll do weekly weigh-ins. Record the results in a handy spreadsheet. Hopefully post some pictures with progress along the way. And hopefully have some input from contestants along the way about how things are going and the methods they are using. Then after three months whoever has lost the most percentage of their starting weight will be crowned “THE WINNER”!

The payoff? As an entry fee for The Challenge everyone will send me a $10 gift certificate to Amazon.com. After The Challenge is over I will in turn send all the codes for the certificates to the winner. Then they can buy whatever they like from Amazon.

Sound fun? Think you might want in on the action? Then contact me. You can join at any time, just know the end date will be the same (probably June 18th) so you’ll have a little less time.

We’re in the new building!

03/07/2010 / Blake

Back in January I posted a video from the first work night The Orchard had in the new building. That work night was on January 20th. And we’ve come a long way since then.

Last weekend Pat made the call to call it a 95% chance that we’d have church today (March 7th) in the new building. And I think that pushed us to get as much done as we could in the next six days. And there were lots of folks in and out of the doors. There was still painting, carpeting, putting together 200 chairs, hanging televisions, putting together children’s ministry furniture, setting lights, running sound system cable, building a stage, changing light fixtures, replacing facia board, getting the Fire Marshall to approve us, getting fire extinguishers, hanging posters, and probably a dozen other things. And all fo that was just this past week.

But there have been many, many people who have put in many hours to get the building to where we are. And today felt good. And one of the coolest things is that now we don’t need to spend near as much time before and after a service setting up things and then taking them right back down. We have had some great volunteers give their time and strength to that. We have been blessed. But now we get to reorient their efforts/focus to other ministry areas.

The new building still needs some more attention. There’s a punch list we’ll still need to knock out (did you see the bathrooms?). But it’s great to be in a building of our own. But we have to be careful that we don’t allow a building to define us. Sure, it opens up many opportunities and should also make other things easier. But it’s not an end all solution. Our heart, as a church, still needs to be focused on Jesus. And our passions need to be the same as His passions.

So while we’re quite excited about the building, we’re more excited about the opportunities it provides for The Orchard to impact Oxford for God’s Kingdom.

[I wish I had a few photos from this morning. Maybe next week.]

Haircut for Rowan!

03/02/2010 / Blake

It seems that when our kids are really young my wife and I think that it can’t be too hard to cut a kids hair. And we end up messing it up. And then we give it a few attempts to “fix” it. And it only makes it worse. I’ll try to find some old pictures of Ella. Her hair looked horrible. She had a really bad “boy’s haircut” for a few months when she was two.

But I had to run get a tire fixed this morning and decided to take Rowan to get his haircut afterwards. We were thinking of trying to wait until he turned two later this month for a haircut. But he was shaggy. You couldn’t see his ears. I’m not sure he could see anything through his bangs. And he was sporting a serious mullet too!

So after Walmart (and an emergency diaper change which included me having to buy diapers, wipes, and a new pair of pants!) we headed to get him all cut up. Here are a few pics below.

This was at Walmart before we left. His hair was CRAZY!

Still @ Walmart

He sat really, really still.

Bev showed up to watch from behind.

He was still, but paid strict attention in the mirror.

Almost done. He's getting a quick clean up

The finished product. But he couldn't be still.

He's cutting up. But his bangs aren't so severe now.

The Not So Newlywed Game

03/01/2010 / Blake

Not too long ago Bev and I had a few friends over for supper. You know how that usually goes. Some people are on time. Some are a touch late. But everybody makes it eventually. And then everyone eats at the table or the barstools or standing around in the kitchen. And then the guys end up in a clump while talking about sports or tv shows or how they would probably make up a good Curling team in the next Olympics. And on the other hand the ladies clump up and talk about their kids or how lame it is that their husbands watch Curling.

So this time Bev wanted to go with a theme for dinner. And for some reason she chose a Wedding Theme. So everyone wore something from their wedding or brought something from their wedding and wedding pictures and all that fun stuff. It was quite fun. But we also played a game. We called it “The Not So Newlywed Game.”

It is played like the classic Bob Eubanks version I guess. But we had five questions each. It provided quite a bit of laughs and insight as we talked through the ten questions. Here’s what they were:

Questions for the Ladies

The saying “opposites attract must be true because my husband and I couldn’t be any more different when it comes to _________?
Every wedding has something to go wrong. What detail at your wedding didn’t go as planned?
Where did you share your first kiss?
What is your husband’s most irritating habit?
If your husband won $5000, what would he want to spend it on?

Questions for the guys

If your wife could have unlimited access to any store, what store would she choose?
If your wife could send you to the body shop for a tuneup, which body part of yours would she want worked on?
What is your wife’s favorite comfort food?
If you could have a second honeymoon, where would your wife want you to take her?
If you wife was married to a tv/movie star instead of you, who would she want to be married to?

One fake question I threw out there for the husbands was, “Which of your wife’s friends would you most like to see in a bikini?” I asked it and then watched them squirm like crazy. But I was sure to jump in before anyone attempted to name a friend. It was funny. But what was funnier was when I asked the wives, “Which of your friends would your husband most like to see in a bikini?” I almost held it in to let the question go around the room and actually see if they would name anyone. But I couldn’t keep a straight face.

As I said, it was a great time. And I meant to mention that my wife actually wore her wedding dress from nearly 11 years ago for a while. She’s a trooper!

**What questions should we have asked? Have you played the game before with other questions? Leave a comment below and let me know!**

New Church Building!

01/22/2010 / Blake

I’ve now been working here with The Orchard in Oxford for two years. And in those two years we’ve never had our own space. We started out meeting at The Powerhouse which is the Community Arts Council building. The building is used. A lot….A WHOLE lot. So it’s not uncommon for us to show up early on a Sunday morning to set up for church and there was HUUUUGE party the night before, or wedding reception, or gala, or “She got a donk” contest (whatever that is) with some crazy DJ and all of the stuff from the night before is still up. Or a play is set up for a few weeks for rehearsal and performance, and we’re have to work around each other.

Last May we moved into one of the local movie theaters to have church. We got in early on Sunday morning, set up, and then took everything down before the Sunday matinees started. But in September the theater closed down. Oxford wasn’t big enough to support two movie theaters it seemed. So we returned to The Powerhouse. And I’ll say up front that the folks with the Arts Council/Powerhouse have been very gracious.

BUT…we’ve found our own place. We don’t “own” it, but we have a two year lease. And we’re tearing out walls and building walls. Ripping out old carpet. Painting things afresh. Making it “ours”. Etc. The building has been a number of things. A night club. A restaurant. And most recently…a funeral home. But our goal is to make it as “un-funeral homey” as possible.

But we look forward to the stability having our that having own place will provide us as a church. And we look forward to being able to use the building as a way to impact the local community for Christ in ways that extend far beyond just a weekly church service.

But below is a video from one of our workdays. We’ve had a few since, and it is already looking way different.